Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 
©2008-2009 ~PhaseXero
:iconphasexero:

Author's Comments

So, Im in a rigorous creative writting class now. Its fantastic. I am more inspired now than ever. Im visiting life as a drifting ghost in some surreal dream... I want to be transparent.

I ask that you criticise me as harshly as you can manage. [=
~Peace

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconphasexero:
I still suck =P
~Phase


--
got no place to stand
got no home, no land, but i
don't ever want to die
:iconscarwolf:
The only thing I can really say is that I think it should be a bit longer.

not much though, maybe one or so stanzas more. (another four lines or whatever ;))

But otherwise, I think your positioning (I forget the word I was previously going to use. I hope you understand me :P) is great, and it's quite original. Some more pieces like this I think would be appreciated =)

Great work!

--
:skullbones: [Cap'n Scar] :skullbones:

~Icon by =Wolflou~

Details

August 29, 2008
442 bytes

Statistics

2
2 [who?]
73 (0 today)
1 (0 today)

Site Map